Here's a d12 table of better names for that racist spell from older versions of
Tunnels & Trolls. (You know, the "Charm Person" ripoff.)
- Enchantée
- Charmed, I'm Sure
- The Ol' Razzle-Dazzle
- Water Under the Bridge Troll
- Hostile Takeover
- Play Nice!
- Heel-Face Turn
- An Offer You Can't Refuse
- Resistance is Futile
- Friendship is Magic
- I'm the Captain Now
- Roll a d4 on the Fiend Pun Table:
- Best Fiends
- Fast Fiends
- Fair-Weather Fiends
- With Fiends Like These...
Update on 09/07/20: Back in July, it looks like Flying Buffalo changed the name of the spell in question to "Obey Me!" in all PDF copies of the 1st, 4th, and 5th Edition rules currently for sale. Check the comments section on the 5E store page for details:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/210996/Tunnels--Trolls-Rules-5th-Editon
Fire-Captain Beatty, in my novel Fahrenheit 451, described how the books were burned first by minorities, each ripping a page or a paragraph from this book, then that, until the day came when the books were empty and the minds shut and the libraries closed forever." - Ray Bradbury
ReplyDeleteAltering things from the past to suit the whims of the present was literally the job of the main character from 1984.
Do you have a soft stance on free speech?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA
DeleteDid I go back in time and force anyone to change a single word of what they wrote in the past?
Did I come to your house and personally alter your copy of Tunnels & Trolls?
Did I burn any books? Remove any from circulation? Force anyone to change or remove a PDF? Confiscate anyone's hard drives?
Am I not allowed to practice MY free speech through criticism? Seeing as you have criticized my criticism, surely we are guilty of the same crime...unless you don't believe your speech and mine are equivalent? Which would imply that, in general, you do not truly believe that all speech is equally valuable, no? Do you believe that different kinds of speech invite different responses? Do you believe that some speech can be rightfully criticized while other speech cannot?
Did my humor offend you? Are you too sensitive to receive the message I have written? Have I caused you harm with my words? It seems like you are the one who finds speech to be dangerous.
Note that I've allowed your own criticism to remain here, blighting MY page. Surely you would extend the same courtesy should the roles be reversed, hm? But surely you can see how it would be no violation of free speech to remove any such graffiti in the future, just as it would be within your rights to paint over anything I should spray-paint on the side of your house?
The truth is, you are not arguing in good faith. You do not intend to change my mind through honest discourse. You know you cannot win in the "marketplace of ideas." You probably don't believe everything you write. You posted this message to waste my time, and to waste the time of others, and to confuse and distract. And you do not use these tactics in service to a good cause, but as an excuse to help create an atmosphere within the public discourse where you can say hateful things without criticism. Because you're too weak to just shrug off criticism. Because you can't bear the consequences of your cowardly and selfish actions. Because you can't stand not being part of the "cool kids' club," but are unwilling to make any meaningful progress towards actually being cool.
I'm leaving your post on my blog to serve as an example of the kind of bad-faith discourse that reasonable and compassionate people should feel free to ridicule and quickly dismiss in the future, rather than trying to seriously engage with it. Further comments along these lines will be deleted from my blog.
Get the fuck out of my house.
A nice little random table *and* I get to watch the ol' asshole concern-troll crawl out of his cave and get immediately nuked from orbit. Today's a good day.
DeleteI mean, it's the only way to be sure. :P
DeleteSeriously, readers like you make it worth my time to bother posting anything at all. Thanks.
That was cathartic to read. Seriously I almost wrote a response but this was much more satisfying.
DeleteI'm glad I saved you some time. And hey, if you ever find yourself playing first-edition Tunnels & Trolls, now you can cast mind control spells to your heart's content with far less awkwardness. Everybody wins, except those who purposefully choose to continue being losers.
DeleteThese are all better than the original cringe-worthy name. But 2, 3, and 10 are just awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I provided some amusement. Although I haven't played it yet, I actually really like Tunnels & Trolls. I just don't see the point of ignoring these kinds of flaws while exploring old-school gaming. I'd rather confront these kinds of things, and I found humor to be a good method in this case.
DeleteI do not recall any racist names in the original Tunnels & Trolls, neither do I find one the "Deluxe" edition. Can you tell me the name or will the PC gods strike you down?
ReplyDeleteThen again, the definition of Racist has been stretched so much that it is ridiculously irrelevant now.
To quote TV Tropes (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Trivia/TunnelsAndTrolls)
Delete"Once Acceptable Targets: Until recent editions, the Mind Control spell was titled Yassa Massa. Thankfully corrected since."
I'm looking at it right now on my first edition reprint PDF of Tunnels & Trolls. It's on page 23. Second spell down, right after Omnipotent Eye.
Now, should I assume that you're stupid enough to not see how that's racist, or should I assume that you're too stupid to do a quick google search or two on the subject, OR should I assume actually being willfully malicious?
Don't bother answering that. Your statement about "the definition" of racism being "stretched" tells me enough about you that I know you're no longer welcome to comment here.
https://youtu.be/_uHUUwgGW5c