1d100 Political Scapegoats

1. Puppies
2. Kittens
3. Puppies AND Kittens
4. War Widows
5. "I blame the lame-stream media. Also that other media."
6. Video Games
7. Audio-Video Games
8. Audio-Video-Olfactio-Gustio-Tactio Games
9. Whatever music the youth are listening to
10. The youth in general
11. Pacifists
12. Oceanographers (The Pornographers of the Sea)
13. Womenfolk
14. The "Moors"
15. Organized Religion (referee's discretion as to which one - bonus polling points for a persecuted minority denomination)
16. Disorganized Religion
17. The Elderly, except the ones who have managed to remain fuckable
18. The Fuckable Elderly
19. Sincerely Reformed Criminals
20. The Best and Coolest Drugs
21. Books (bonus polling points for books that are "controversial" for reasons no one can identify)
22. The Unemployed
23. Restaurant Serving Staff
24. Left-Handed (i.e. Sinister) People
25. The Sea Peoples (or THESE Peoples)
26. Teachers, British Nanies, Cartoon Animals, and other people with a suspicious fondness for children
27. The Cartoons and Action Figures Which Aren't as Cool as the Ones You Had as a Kid
28. The Homeless, especially when they're just trying to get some fucking sleep
29. That Sports Team No One Likes
30. Voter Fraud
31. The New Dance Craze
32. Santa Claus
33. People who have much better and more frequent sex than you Filthy Hedonists
34. Loving Marriages
35. Divorcees
36. Supermodels
37. Ultra-Deluxe Models
38. Newfangled Gadgets
39. Lazy People (who only work three measly jobs to get by)
40. This Week's Horoscope
41. An "Act of God" (presumably an omnibenevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient one)
42. A hoax perpetuated by almost the entire scientific community for nebulous reasons
43. The fact that the Earth is only 6,000 years old, thus we haven't had very long to learn to do any better
44. The Expansion of the Sun
45. Legal Aliens Who Just Look Illegal
46. What She's Wearing
47. Sass, Backtalk, Attitude, Lip, Snark, and General Uppitiness
48. Jokes (although "Jokes" are okay)
49. Those who "can't take a joke"
50. Politeness, Manners, Respect, Consideration, Tact, and other PC bullshit
51. Unarmed People
52. Actual Goats (I mean, have you seen their freakish eyes?)
53. Those who dare ignore our most arcane and pointless traditions
54. Huddled Masses
55. POWs
56. People who don't vote
57. People who do vote, but are the wrong color
58. People who are just especially punchable/hangable/flammable for whatever reason
59. The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas
60. Zoologists (The Pornographers of the Sea of the Land)
61. Genetically-Modified Orgasms
62. Something that must be true because I totally saw it in a movie once
63. Sound and Fury
64. Filthy Pinko Commies
65. Commie Mutant Traitors
66. Spring-Heeled Jack
67. The Mad Gasser
68. The Prophecy of Yore
69. Purely accidental circumstances which lead to me innocently slipping and falling into vaginas/butts
70. A widespread lack of moral fiber
71. Those stupid reporters and their dumb, hard questions
72. Kids who don't eat their Brussels sprouts
73. Rural Folk
74. City Folk
75. Those Pesky Human Rights
76. Haters
77. Irresistible Temptation
78. Thugs, Punks, and Ne'er-do-wells
79. Bikers
80. The Mentally Ill
81. The Mentally Chill
82. The Mentally Real
83. Anyone dumb enough to pay taxes
84. Satanic Cults that Supposedly Exist
85. Bad Influences
86. Subversives
87. Radicals
88. Moderates
89. Fatties (i.e. The Non-Airbrushed)
90. The Childless
91. Artists, Intellectuals, Philosophers, and Other Smarty Pants
92. Hollywood Movies
93. Nasty Underground Movies
94. People's private medical business
95. People's privates
96. A Terrible Curse
97. The War on [insert thing that isn't in jeopardy here]
98. Theoretical Mathematicians (The Pornographers of the Sea of the Land of the Abstract Logic)
99. Murderhobos
100. Fun