This post should probably be considered "Not Safe For Work" - especially the links.
- Stealthily drowning oneself in holy water during a church service, so as not to be discovered until at least the end of the sermon.
- Gorging oneself on the cremated ashes of one's entire extended family, going back untold generations.
- Building a huge, upside-down pyramid suspended on stilts, then standing beneath the pyramid's point and flipping a switch that causes the stilts to be removed and the pyramid to drop.
- Using a needle and tube to siphon out one's blood like gasoline stolen from a car's tank. One can drink the blood if one gets thirsty during the process.
- Jumping from a second-story balcony repeatedly.
- Surgically removing as many of one's own bones as possible, one at a time.
- Lying beneath a sturdy table, which is itself beneath a huge weight suspended from the ceiling, then placing a leg of the table in one's mouth and triggering the weight to drop onto the table.
- Beating oneself to death with a hammer, club, or other blunt object, starting at the feet and working one's way up the body as each area is pulverized.
- Swallowing a serrated sword, then tugging on it. Twisting if necessary.
- Standing in the middle of an oil-coated bridge over a deep chasm, shark infested waters, a vat of acid, etc., then lighting both ends of the bridge on fire.
- Balancing on top of a long metal pole during a lightning storm, preferably a storm that one created (or at least predicted) through science or magic.
- Lying down and simply refusing to get up for any reason, while moving as little as absolutely possible, for as long as it takes.
- Purposely infecting oneself with a slow-acting but lethal disease and refusing treatment.
- Shooting oneself in the stomach repeatedly, patching up the wound each time in order to see how many shots it takes.
- Tying one end of a rope to a vehicle and the other end to one's neck, then sending the vehicle off at high speed, preferably over a cliff.
- Stuffing as much bread up one's nose as possible.
- Hammering a nail into one's own sternum or skull.
- Gathering everything that one is allergic to in one place and exposing oneself to all of it simultaneously.
- Building a pear of anguish that forcefully opens to its full extension instantaneously instead of gradually, then using it on oneself in a crowded area.
- Eating or inhaling the seeds of quick-growing vines, which take root in the body.
- Completely stop sleeping.
- Burn oneself alive at the coldest place in the world.
- Use a balloon to float high enough to suffocate or freeze.
- Boil oneself in a giant pot of soup, which other people are tricked into eating due to one's careful scheming beforehand.
- Orgasm to death.
- Seal oneself in the wall of a forgotten cellar to dehydrate or starve.
- Cut off one's own nose to spite one's face. Then keep cutting.
- Add one small but open wound to one's body each day, and take no precautions against infection.
- Repeatedly smash windowpanes and other glass objects with one's head. Tirelessly seek out as much glass as necessary.
- Cause a volcano to erupt as you straddle the vent.
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