Tuesday, October 18, 2016

"Huh? Radio? What's going on with that radio?"

Roll a d12:
  1. All of the radio stations within range are broadcasting pure silence. Every once in a while, the silence is broken by a series of tones which drive some people to commit crazed and creative violence.
  2. An announcement from the CDC warning about the dangers of a memetic virus slowly turns into a vector for that virus.
  3. The news reports are all talking about an impending collision with a rogue neutron star. Outside of the news, there is no evidence that this is really happening. At least, not yet.
  4. The commercials are all advertising unappealing products like Fetus-Os cereal and Now That's What I Call Scaphism Volume 10.
  5. The usual Sunday hymns are replaced with primal, gurgling chants, and the sermon discusses the virtues of being eaten last.
  6. The songs are all ostensibly by familiar artists, but no one recognizes a single one of these tunes.
  7. Someone is hosting an all-day radio interview with Ketatath, the Lord of Ossified Polynomials.
  8. This song is so catchy, you just can't help but dance. Seriously, you have no choice.
  9. The hit new single is literally just sex sounds. Everybody but you seems to love it without question.
  10. The traffic report casually mentions a miles-long swarm of acid-spewing killer bees headed right in your direction.
  11. The only station on the air has someone just listing names in a somber tone, occasionally broken up by sobbing and whimpering.
  12. The lyrics to every song on the radio have been altered in order to include messages that personally threaten you and your loved ones.
(This post's title is a quote from Silent Hill, in case you were wondering.)


  1. >> The hit new single is literally just sex sounds. Everybody but you seems to love it without question.

    Isn't this already happening? It seems like it

    Awesome list

    1. It has begun. I recommend making a hazmat suit out of condoms and getting on good terms with your local fertility goddess right quick.

      (Also, thank you!)