The Bestower of Omnipotence

On March 24, 2016, Zak Smith tweeted the following:

"i had a friend once who thought the way the world works was this..."
"....each person is omnipotent and don't know it for one sentence, then the omnipotence randomly passes to someone else..."
"...like you say "this train needs to die" and if it's you for that sentence the train actually breaks..."
"...so be careful who you're singing along with is all i'm saying. Especially if its like Wolf Gang or Hole"

Sounds like a pretty good idea for a monster for Lamentations of the Flame Princess.

THE BESTOWER OF OMNIPOTENCE
AC 12, Movement 120', HD 3, Morale 6, Average Ability Scores

When the Bestower of Omnipotence comes to town, it is always preceded by beams of sunlight emanating from between the clouds.

At a glance, the Bestower of Omnipotence looks like a normal human being, one who is never especially handsome or ugly, and does not stand out as particularly unique. If one were to look under its clothes, one would see several unusual features. The creature has seven eyes scattered unevenly across its chest, each a different color. Its shoulder blades protrude slightly through its skin. A single rib protrudes from the creature's left side in much the same way. Throbbing veins around the creatures navel and spine form patterns reminiscent of interconnected wheels.

Once per month, the Bestower of Omnipotence can change its appearance in terms of hair/eye/skin color, hair length, height, weight, sex, facial features, etc. within the normal range of human phenotypes. It must make all of these changes at once, rather than individually. The transformation process takes one hour, during which time the creature's flesh appears to be flowing like melted wax and slowly resolidifying into its new shape. The creature's voice is also changed by this process. Clothing and other items are not transformed in this manner. The creature tends to move from one town or community to another upon transforming.

Once per day, the Bestower of Omnipotence can select one person within 100' to become retroactively and involuntarily capable of unwittingly fulfilling a "wish" for the duration of the last sentence or phrase they uttered or wrote. For example, if someone were to sing the line "I wish I were a generic-brand hot dog" within range of the Bestower of Omnipotence, the creature could use this ability to transform the singer into a hot dog, provided it uses this ability before the singer can say or write anything else. The Bestower of Omnipotence can detect and understand all spoken and written communication within 100', so actually hearing or reading the "wish" is unnecessary. The target is entitled to a Save vs. Magic to negate the effect, but if the save is successful the Bestower of Omnipotence is not considered to have used this ability that day and can attempt it again within one round.
More possible examples of this ability in action:
"If only my family would disappear so I could have some peace and quiet."
"I hope you catch pneumonia and die."
"Someone ought to take that guy down a peg."
"If I had all the money in the world, I would sure show them."
"I want you to want me."
The Bestower of Omnipotence always uses this ability with the goal of causing harm, rather than helping people. The "wish" is not necessarily granted literally, but rather in accordance with its meaning as understood by the person granting the wish. Suggesting that someone should be "knocked off their high horse" would probably not cause that person to be struck from the saddle, but to instead lose social standing or otherwise have their pride injured.

The Bestower of Omnipotence can attack by opening a stigmata-like orifice on the palm of its hand and emitting a thin beam of the purest white light toward its target. If it hits, the attack deals an amount of damage equal to the amount of damage dealt by the target's last attack within the last week. If the target has not attacked anyone within the last week, the target takes 1d10 damage instead. The beam attack has a -2 penalty to hit beyond 20', a -4 penalty to hit beyond 50', and a maximum range of 80'. This attack can be used in melee without penalty.

Anyone who successfully hits the Bestower of Omnipotence in melee must make a Save vs. Breath or else get sprayed by the creature's glowing white blood. Anyone covered in this blood must make all rolls twice and take the worse result until the blood is washed off or otherwise removed. Those covered in the white blood experience auditory hallucinations in the form of the voices of their loved ones telling them that they are powerless to change the world in any meaningful way.

The person who delivers the killing blow to the Bestower of Omnipotence can choose one roll made within the next week to automatically succeed as completely as possible. For example, the player could chose to take a roll of 20 on a to-hit roll instead of making the roll as normal.

A note on running this monster, in accordance with my humble opinion:
Don't be a total dick. Nearby NPCs should not spout out nonsense just so that the Bestower of Omnipotence can say exactly the right thing to completely screw over the players without any way to avoid it. NPCs should say things that they would realistically say, and the Bestower of Omnipotence should then have to carefully try to turn their words to its advantage - assuming it hasn't already used up its wish power for the day bullying random strangers. If you're going to have someone mutter something really world-breaking like the aforementioned "all the money in the world" comment, give the players a chance to shut that person up before they can choke out the words, or have them first say it once just outside of the Bestower's range as a warning to the players, or something like that. There's no sport in killing PCs through DM fiat alone.