Friday, April 1, 2022


Sorry for taking so long to post again, but I've been doing a lot of soul searching, and I think it's time to be honest with myself and whatever readers remain. I'm not really into games anymore. Playing them? Don't have the time or the fellow players. Creating or redesigning them? Don't have the energy, or even any good ideas left. Writing about them seems like an exercise in pointless deception and arrogant denial.

Instead, I'm going to rework this blog to cover my other, remaining true passion: cooking and catering with lesser-known and underrated recipes from vintage mid-20th Century cookbooks. In this post, I will teach you how to prepare an old-timey favorite of the Stewart household, courtesy of my prized hand-me-down copy of Golly Gee Ain't That the Whizz-Bangiest! Neato Modern Recipies to Impress at Any How-Do-You-Do, First Edition, by Ivana E. Tadoudi.

On a relatively cold Orlando night in 1993, my Gram-Gram led me deep into the everglades under the full moon while my parents slept. With a crooked finger she pointed out a WWII-era footlocker secreted beneath a half-sunken tree stump, chained shut as if to keep some vicious animal inside. As snakes swam around my ankles, Gram-Gram's arthritis-ravaged hands fished around in her Disney leather clutch until she produced a polished iron key.

"There lies your inheritance, JJ. I hid it away when the Beatles came to our shores, tried to deny the fourteen years of hedonistic horrors it used me to unleash on unsuspecting bridge clubs and bingo halls and barbeques and...oh lord, oh sweet merciful mother of God, the PTA meetings..."

She spit something black and ropey into the reeds through a gap in her broken dentures, then stared at the uncaring sky for a long moment before handing me the key and continuing,

"I hid it in your Grandpappy's war chest, waiting for you to be born, to come of age. Now it falls on you to resurrect it, to force helping after helping of pure, unnatural sin down the throat of mankind until Mammon himself chokes on the blood of a billion billion sinners."

Inside the locker was my copy of Golly Gee Ain't That the Whizz-Bangiest! From that night on, it's been a favorite family tradition for me to fix this delicious casserole every Fourth of July. Now you too can savor this patriotic flavor!

Without further ado, here's how to make:

Freedom Surprise Casserole

Serves 9 People


  • 16 packets of extra-dense lime gelatin mix
    • Substitution: 3 lbs. calf's foot jelly and 44 tablespoons of lime pulp
    • 7.25 oz. macaroni
    • 10 cups beef au jus
    • 3½ lbs. fresh salmon
      • Substitution: 7 lbs. tilapia
    • 64 Kraft Deluxe Process Slices
    • 6 teaspoons olive oil
    • 12 pints bourbon
    • 18 pie crusts
    • 2 cantaloupe
      • Substitution: 1 honeydew and 4 bananas
    • 9 hardboiled eggs
    • 8 grams sesame seeds
    • 5 quarts mayonnaise
    • Ground pepper added to taste

    1. Mix beef au jus and bourbon. Soak hardboiled eggs and macaroni in mixture overnight.
    2. Remove hardboiled eggs. Boil macaroni in bourbon/au jus mixture until al dente. Separate macaroni from mixture and set both aside.
    3. Lightly sauté salmon, olive oil, 1 cantaloupe, and sesame seeds until smoke alarm is activated.
    4. Arrange pie crusts on 6-inch-deep tray in overlapping manner to create a pie bowl. Pour macaroni, salmon, olive oil, first cantaloupe, and 7 grams sesame seeds into pie bowl.
    5. Bake pie bowl in oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool in refrigerator for 45 minutes.
    6. Cut second cantaloupe into thin strips and soak in bourbon/au jus mixture while pie bowl cools.
    7. While food is cooling, smoke 1 to 4 Lucky Strikes or Chesterfields and allow soupçon of ash to fall into bourbon/au jus mixture, or lightly dust hardboiled eggs as desired.
    8. Remove pie bowl from refrigerator and cover contents in layer of mayonnaise, followed by layer of cantaloupe strips. Arrange hardboiled eggs on top in radially symmetrical pattern.
    9. Suspend pie bowl and contents in ring-shaped lime gelatin structure. If you don't know how to do this, consult your nearest suburban housewife.
    10. Use curling iron to slightly melt Kraft Deluxe Process Slices. Cover gelatin with Kraft Deluxe Process Slices. Sprinkle pepper and remaining gram of sesame seeds onto Kraft Deluxe Process Slices while still warm.
    11. Place container of bourbon/au jus mixture in center of gelatin ring structure for dipping or for use as a convenient ashtray. Serve and enjoy!
    Courtesy of
    Excerpt from the introduction to Golly Gee Ain't That the Whizz-Bangiest!

    I hope you've enjoyed the first of many classy culinary classics soon to be hosted here at my newly revamped blog:

    Pictures courtesy of

    Special thanks to my friend Aubrey for inspiration.

    Thursday, December 24, 2020

    Odds & Ends 2: Holmes for the Holidays

    Holmes Basic D&D has been on my mind once again lately. Jess and I both miss playing D&D in person - as opposed to the online roleplaying we've been doing during the pandemic - so I pitched the idea of some one-on-one dungeon crawling with the good ol' Blue Book to her. She likes the idea, naturally. It's not hard to talk her into rolling dice.

    So now I've got more odds and ends on the brain lately, all revolving around Holmes Basic this time. I don't know why, but Holmes seems to be linked with December and Christmas and winter in my mind. It's not like the Blue Book has any particularly wintry illustrations or rules or anything. It's just a weird feeling I have. Hey, maybe this is the start of a new holiday/winter tradition.

    By the way, if you're also a fan of this particular version of D&D, check out this cool thing made by Zach Howard of Zenopus Archives!

    Item 1: Choosing House Rules - the Dragons Gonna Drag Way

    A lot of people have expanded on Holmes Basic in different ways. These are my favorite fan-made expansions at the moment. Different DMs are going to care about supporting or modifying different aspects of the rules - here's my criteria for choosing one set of house rules over another, depending on what I want to get out of my Holmes campaign or one-shot.

    Holmes Complete, Redux Edition was recently posted at the excellent blog Pits Perilous. I think this might have been what got me pondering Holmes again, actually. Simple, elegant, great for anyone who wants to focus specifically on low-level play but bring in just a few more features to make the game feel more complete. I'll return to this one below.

    Meepo's Holmes Companion is a classic I've seen posted many places on the internet. This page at the Zenopus Archives seems to be one of the most reliable places to download it. This is perfect for the Holmes DM who wants more than just three levels of growth for PCs, but still wants to keep things fairly limited in scope overall. Also short and sweet at four well-organized pages.

    The Holmes Basic + OD&D Reference Sheet can be found at this page. It's ideal for starting with just Holmes and incorporating more OD&D material over time. It's a cool piece of work that's inspired me before. Very short at one page, with excellent layout, but also requires the most books for reference (Holmes, Little Brown Books, and probably Greyhawk at the very least).

    Blueholme Journeymanne Rules is a complete game in and of itself, essentially a retroclone of Holmes but with a huge expansion of new material, including a bunch of playable races and advancement to at least level 20. This is the most self-contained and thorough option. I backed this on Kickstarter, but I honestly haven't dug into it too deeply yet. It seems really good, though, and you don't need to track down any old D&D books from the '70s to play it.

    Item 2: How Do Elves Work?

    I should start my noting that I used both Holmes Basic and Meepo's Holmes Companion to make this table. Without Meepo's expansion, I think the first five XP "milestones" should still be in line with the Holmes rulebook as written, however.

    Prior to AD&D and B/X, the rules for elven PCs and their weird multiclassing are pretty vague and open to a lot of interpretation - debate on how OD&D and Holmes Basic elves are supposed to actually work rages on to this day. Well, I can't speak for the Little Brown Books' elf, but I'm reasonably sure this is, if not the one true intended way for the Blue Book's elf to advance in levels, then at least a reasonable interpretation of the rules, and thus "close enough" to what was intended.

    The "Level" column on the far left is just my own simplification, equal to the number of hit dice the elf possesses at each experience point milestone. The "Class" column is the actual breakdown of how many fighting man and magic-user levels the elf has at each milestone. The first five hit dice (or my simplified "Levels") are covered by the actual Holmes Basic rules, while everything from 6 HD and up is my interpretation of how I think Meepo's rules are meant to expand elven advancement beyond that.

    Three noteworthy things: First, elves each start with 2 levels - one in each of their two classes - but only get one hit die between the two of them...yet each additional level in either class grants a hit die, so their total HD always equals the sum of their two class levels minus one. At first I thought that couldn't be right, that maybe they only gain HP every fighting man level or every even-numbered level or something, but no, as far as I can tell the rulebook never specifies anything like that and seems to imply they gain d6 HP every time they gain a level, period.

    Second, an Elf doesn't really benefit from their second and third fighting man levels except through additional HP (and I guess additional buffers against being killed outright by level drain). If my interpretation is wrong, then one alternative would be to give the elf a hit die every magic-user level, since that would be "every other level" for at least the portion of character advancement handled by Holmes, and those would be the points at which the elf has an equal level in both classes...but if you do that, you could practically just forget about the elf's fighting man levels altogether and make this whole thing much simpler, right? Instead of the confusing explanation in the book, couldn't Holmes (or Gygax and Arneson before him) have just said "Elves are magic-users that can wield the same weapons and armor as fighting men, save as fighting men when advantageous, and have d6 HD, but require twice the XP to gain each level" and called it a day? No division of XP between two classes, no confusion over HD, nice and easy.

    But assuming I'm right that they get d6 HP every time they level up in either class, this means if you play Holmes Basic by itself with no house rules/expansions and without transferring the campaign to another set of rules like AD&D to allow PCs high than level 3, then elven PCs "max out" at a de facto higher "Level" than their human and other demihuman counterparts! Everyone else gets 3 levels and 3 HD, while the elves get 3 levels across two classes and a whopping 5d6 HP between that total of 6 levels.

    Did I get this wrong? Please feel free to point out anything I missed or may have misinterpreted in the comments. Feel free to offer your competing interpretations as well. Who doesn't love a good nerd debate?

    Item 3: My House Rules for Pits Perilous' House Rules

    I plan to use the following house rules when Jess and I play our one-on-one game. They're mostly a mix of Holmes Complete, Redux Edition and bits of my own tinkering (like this and this), with a few things borrowed from Meepo's Holmes Companion and Gary Gygax's OD&D house rules. First, I've taken the altered level-based progression of spells and other class-based abilities from Pits Perilous and extended them to a maximum limit of level 4 (or 2/2 for elves), as per the chart below:

    Note the two different spell totals for level 4 magic-users. Which one I pick depends on whether or not I end up including third-level spells. If I do, I'll probably pull them from Meepo and/or Zenopus.

    Second, I'll be borrowing from Pits Perilous the "renown" system and the rules for losing a level instead of dying at 0 HP. Also, I'll be using everything listed on the first page of Meepo's Holmes Companion under "Rule Variants" except for dual wielding and critical hits. (Crossbows will still take a round or two to reload, in case you interpret the "COMBAT ROUNDS" section to indicate otherwise.) I will also allow fighters "with STR of 13 or higher [to] add 1 to their damage in melee combat" as per page 2.

    Finally, the following changes will apply:

    1. No dwarf or halfling PCs. Fighters make saving throws as if they were dwarves or halflings. The +3 Magic War Hammer is usable by fighters, thieves, and clerics.
    2. No infravision for elf PCs.
    3. Maximum HP every level for PCs.
    4. A Strength score of 13 or more grants +1 to hit with melee attacks.
    5. Unarmed attacks do d2 points of damage. Shoddy and improvised weapons do d4 damage. Light crossbows do d6+1 damage. Heavy crossbows do d6+2 damage. Magic-Users can wield staves, but they do not add +1 to damage like other two-handed weapons.
    6. Read Magic is removed from the spell list. Scrolls, runes on wands and magic items, and other typical magical writing that normally requires the use of this spell can instead by read automatically by any Magic-User. This skill is considered a basic part of a Magic-User's training. Essentially, every Magic-User is under the permanent effect of a "Read Magic" spell at all times.
    7. Thieves can detect secret doors and special dungeon features as if they were dwarves or elves (and their ability to do so advances as per their ability to hear noises). Thieves can vanish into undergrowth like halflings as per their ability to hide in shadows. Level 4 thieves will be able to cast from scrolls with an 80% success rate - failure means the spell is still lost as if cast.
    8. For monsters without a listed Dexterity score, divide their highest listed Move score by 10 to determine their Dexterity for purposes of initiative. Outside of combat, monsters can move twice per turn just like PCs, so their maximum movement per turn is twice that listed.
    9. Most magic items are identified immediately. Potions must still be sipped to ID, though.
    10. Dungeon doors are not stuck closed by default, but specific ones may be stuck as chosen by the DM.

    Item 4: Holmes Art in the UK Version

    Warning: Some links below may be Not Safe For Work due to mild nudity.

    When I did my read-through of Holmes Basic in 2016, I talked a bit about the art in the US copy I own, but I neglected to mention that the UK release had a lot of different art. It's really good, too! I especially love the cyclopes.

    The blog Scrum in Miniature has a wonderful post showing off the UK art HERE. I really just wanted an excuse to point everyone towards that highly informative post, but you can find some of the differing art in a thread at Dragonsfoot as well.

    Item 5: Nick LS Whelan's Dungeon Moon

    Over at one of my absolute favorite blogs Papers and Pencils, Nick has lots of cool info on his Dungeon Moon setting, which I've discussed before. I would still love to play a Holmes Basic campaign set on the Dungeon Moon. I would probably either use the Holmes Basic + OD&D Reference Sheet or the Blueholme Journeymanne Rules. Mirroring the "dungeons at lower levels, wilderness at higher levels" philosophy typical of many old-school campaigns, I'd like to start out focused on dungeon-crawling on the moon, and then open the game up into wilderness exploration if/when the players find the portal down to the planet below. Of course, the planet might not be as serene and lovely as the moon's inhabitants hope it will be...

    EDIT: Whoops, looks like I already talked about this years ago. Well, I still think it's a good idea, so whatever.

    Monday, November 30, 2020

    Odds & Ends

    Tunnels & Trolls & Thieves' World

    I don't know what system I'll end up running Thieves' World with, but one contender is Tunnels & Trolls 5th Edition, because the box set already includes stats for it, and I've been wanting to try it out anyway. (At least I think it's 5th Edition, since that was the most recent version of the T&T rules at the time of release.) If I go with T&T 5E, I'll probably implement the following house rule that I nicked from 7th Edition: Warriors increase their combat adds by their character level.

    Carcosa Mini-Appendix M (for Movies!)

    1. At the Earth's Core (AKA MST3K Experiment 1114)
    2. Conan the Barbarian/Conan the Destroyer/Red Sonja
    3. Conquest
    4. Fantastic Planet
    5. Krull
    6. Riddick
    7. Starcrash (AKA MST3K Experiment 1106)
    8. Yor, the Hunter from the Future

    Forget Yor; Pag is the real hero.

    Super-Casual 2: Greyhawk Bugbearloo

    Remember that new group that wants me to run D&D for them? I'm considering the following series of adventures for their campaign, in the style of my current group's Super-Casual Pulp Campaign. It'll be set in my (lightly researched, "non-canon" version of) Greyhawk, and I'm mostly using it as an excuse to run interesting modules I couldn't fit comfortably into the first Super-Casual syllabus, especially adventures by TSR UK.

    Prison of the Hated Pretender
    UK5 Eye of the Serpent - Level 1
    N1 Against the Cult of the Reptile God - Levels 1-3
    U1 The Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh - Levels 1-3
    U2 Danger at Dunwater - Levels 1-4
    U3 The Final Enemy - Levels 3-5
    UK2 The Sentinal - Levels 2-5
    UK3 The Gauntlet - Levels 3-6
    UK4 When a Star Falls - Levels 3-5
    UK6 All That Glitters... - Levels 3-5
    UK1 Beyond the Crystal Cave - Levels 4-7
    I2 Tomb of the Lizard King - Levels 5-7
    WG4 The Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun - Levels 5-10
    S4 The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth - Levels 6-10
    UK7 Dark Clouds Gather - Levels 7-9
    I8 Ravager of Time - Levels 8-10
    EX1 Dungeonland - Levels 9-12
    EX2 The Land Beyond the Magic Mirror - Levels 9-12
    WG5 Mordenkainen's Fantastic Adventure - Levels 9-12
    WG7 Castle Greyhawk - Levels 0-25 (multiple adventures to fill in any "gaps")
    WG6 Isle of the Ape - Levels 18+

    Lost Carcosa and Barbarian Prince

    Look at that beautiful hex map! And it's got enough types of terrain to match all of the major regions of the setting presented in Lost Carcosa, provided I get a little creative. Honestly, I'm probably going to be too lazy to draw my own hex map, not to mention that my illustrative talent is...modest, let's say. Why not borrow the Barbarian Prince map and just make some substitutions?

    Open Countryside=Forest
    Hills/Badlands=Colour-Blighted Wastes

    The Carcosan Underworld is supposed to be its own separate hex map, but again, I'm lazy, and I don't know if I'd have enough major underworld locations to require a second map anyway. My justification for using the underworld as a terrain type on the "overworld" is that the mountains of Carcosa are basically impassable aboveground. They're cartoonishly steep, incredibly treacherous, exposed to the elements, devoid of edible food and potable water, and in many cases airless and radioactive because they poke out through the atmosphere into space. (Maybe the atmosphere ends at a lower "ceiling" than it does on Earth, or maybe the mountains are just that tall.) Even the parts within the atmosphere are shrouded in toxic gas or blasted by eldritch energies or just really cold and slippery. Bottom line, the only practical way to traverse the mountains is the go under/through them, so moving across mountainous hexes means travelling underground for that leg of one's journey.

    As for the named locations on the Barbarian Prince map, I'll probably keep a lot of them as-is, only renaming things as needed when placing specific destinations from Lost Carcosa. My main struggle is figuring out where to put the city of Carcosa itself and the Lake of Hali. Maybe the latter could lie to the south just off the map, with the "Samain Marshes" becoming an inlet of Hali, and "Aeravir Castle" becoming the city. I might change hexes 1723 and 1823 from "open countryside" to part of the inlet as well, so that it's more obvious that the city is right on the edge of Hali.

    Mega-ish Dungeon?

    I've been trying to make a big dungeon, on-and-off. I hesitate to call it a proper "megadungeon" because I don't yet know if it will fit all of the common criteria like "being the only or primary dungeon of the campaign" or "not capable of being completely and permanently cleared out by the players" or "being a living, constantly evolving place full of factions." Still, it's twelve floors deep, it's under a town, and I'm trying to make it nonlinear, so I feel like it's at least pseudo-mega.

    When it comes to drawing dungeons, not only do I lack artistic talent, but I'm also usually hit by instant decision paralysis. To overcome this, I started with these geomorphs by Dyson Logos, helpfully arranged by my wife Jess in a manner both artistically pleasing and conducive to the creation of branching paths. Next, I implemented one of the dungeon's two major gimmicks, which I'll cover shortly. Then I examined the paths on each floor to see which areas were continuous and which were separated and inaccessible to each other. I changed a few details, mostly adding doors so that whole floors would be continuous, but sometimes leaving a separate area accessible only from another floor without magic or excavation. Finally, I picked where I wanted to put stairs - or maybe teleporters or just open shafts, I haven't decided yet.

    So the absolute basics are done, more or less. I might add more entrances/exits on other floors; currently I only have two entrances between the town and the first level, although in my defense I did try to make one path down multiple sets of obviously-nearby stairs going pretty deep into the dungeon for quick access to lower levels. Then there are other stairs scattered about each floor to make less obvious linkages.

    The dungeon's first gimmick is that the north and south edges of each floor are linked, as are the east and west edges. For example, if you go down a hall that leads off the map to the west, you'll loop seamlessly to the map's east side, at the same location on the north-south axis. Each floor is effectively a torus, except that this doesn't apply to the up-down axis. It's like how the world map works in a lot of older JRPGs. And no, of course I wouldn't tell this to my players ahead of time.

    The second gimmick is actually one I haven't decided to include for sure, but it's tempting. The usual scale for old-school D&D dungeon maps is 10 feet per square, while Wizards of the Coast-era maps tend to use a scale of 5 feet per square. For this dungeon, I think I might go with 20 feet per square instead. Why?

    • It would give me very big floors on very compact maps.
    • It would make the conditions a little less cramped for big parties and big battles.
    • It would make it feel more realistic to me that there are tons of monsters hustling around down there to serve as random encounters.
    • It would give the denizens (both factions and loners) more breathing room and more territory to fight over.
    • It would let me fit more furnishings and other stuff in each square.
    • It would help bigger monsters get around more easily.
    • Hopefully it would help inspire a sense of wonder in any explorers if even the hallways and doors and such are on a larger-than-human scale.

    Anyway, I'm just trying to make something fun, not publication-worthy. I think it's good practice, and it would be nice to run a creation of my own again, even if it's not very original. Plus I can use it to see what those default random encounter and treasure tables in the D&D rulebooks are like in actual play; I almost never use them because I'm always running modules with their own tailored encounters and treasure instead. This could almost be like a "default" D&D adventure, straight from the rulebooks, which feels weirdly fresh since I'm not used to running the game without modules.

    Pictures courtesy of

    The Truth About Pickles

    It's not actually a pickle unless it comes from the Pickle region of France. Otherwise, it's just a sparkling cucumber.

    Sunday, November 22, 2020

    Mind's Eye - A Magic Item

    Part wildlife tagging/remote surveillance program and part series of field experiments, the Mind's Eye Project was instituted by the Rigellian Empire* as a means of testing the biological, psychological, and sociological effects of high-level magic use on humans. (It also doubles as a handy spy network should the surveilled population get rowdy.) Just find an isolated world infested with humanity,** implant some pre-selected individuals*** with "Mind's Eye" devices, then sit back and collect your data.

    Outside of the human body, a Mind's Eye looks like a silver lozenge inscribed with the alchemical symbols for "digestion," "projection," and "the Philosopher's Stone" inscribed in gold. When swallowed, the nanomachines which make up the lozenge are triggered by the subject's stomach acid to separate and travel through the bloodstream to the brain, where they reform into a shape resembling a miniature goat's eyeball rooted directly to the visual cortex and connected to the rest of the brain by an extensive network of neural filaments. This process takes d6-1 turns, with a result of 0 meaning it takes d10 seconds instead. Upon completion, the effects listed below manifest in the subject.

    If removed from the brain, the eyeball-like mass will reshape itself into its lozenge form over the course of about ten seconds, at which point it can be installed in another host. Mind's Eyes are almost never found in their lozenge state "in the wild," but rather in the brains of the most powerful and ambitious wizards in the land. This is presumably the origin of the stereotype that sorcerers are all brain-eating cannibals.

    In it's lozenge state, a Mind's Eye is about as resistant to damage as steel, although it can be "tricked" into separating into a swarm of nanomachines by exposing it to stomach acid outside of a living human, at which point it becomes vulnerable to a variety of other caustic substances, extreme heat or cold, or even simple dilution and separation of the nanomachines to the point that they lose wireless communication with each other and shut down. If attacked directly in its eye-like state, a Mind's Eye has 8 HP and regenerates 1 HP every ten minutes. Killing the subject will not damage the Mind's Eye, simply causing it to revert to lozenge mode.


    • Increases a character's spellcasting ability by one level. This is for purposes of spells per day, spell levels that can be cast, and the caster's level for the purposes of spell effects.
      • This does NOT increase the character's level in any other way; it does not grant additional HP or better saving throws or a better attack bonus, it does not change the character's current XP or the amount required for the next level, and it does not allow the character to survive an extra level's worth of being level drained.
      • This DOES allow characters to exceed any normal level cap or XP limit for purposes of spellcasting. E.g. A ninth level Magic-User with one Mind's Eye can memorize and cast spells as if they were a tenth level Magic-User, even if ninth level is usually the maximum achievable level in your game.
      • This DOES allow members of other character classes and even level 0 characters to memorize and cast spells. E.g. A fourth level Fighter with one Mind's Eye can memorize and cast spells as if they were a first level Magic-User.
      • Any character with at least one Mind's Eye can cast spells from scrolls, wands, and staves.
    • A human character can only use up to 10 Mind's Eyes at once. Attempting to install 11 or more simultaneously is instantly and invariably fatal to humans.
      • Naturally, the referee is free to reduce this amount if desired. E.g. If I were running BX D&D and I had set a level cap of 9 for Magic-Users, I would probably limit the simultaneous use of Mind's Eyes to 5 because the Expert Set only lists the class' level progression up to 14.
    • Anything seen by the subject is transmitted to a recording device possessed by the Rigellian Empire, on which it can be played back and otherwise manipulated like standard video footage (albeit in binocular form).
    • The current generation of Mind's Eye technology is susceptible to a series of glitches which cause certain visual information to be redirected only to the installed Mind's Eye(s) and not the perception of the subject. For each Mind's Eye installed, a character must succeed on a saving throw vs. magical device or else lose the ability to see one of the following randomly-determined sights: 
      1. Random color - Seen as gray instead.
        1. Red
        2. Orange
        3. Yellow
        4. Green
        5. Cyan/Light Blue
        6. Indigo/Dark Blue
        7. Purple
        8. Violet-Red colors (Magenta, Rose, etc.)
      2. Light brighter than 2000 lux - Seen as painful white glare.
      3. Light dimmer than 1 lux - Seen as pure blackness.
      4. Right angles that take up more than 25% of your field of view - Seen as drastically warped to become acute or obtuse to random degrees.
      5. Distances across open air or empty space more than 30 feet across - Seen as being concealed by fog.
      6. Motion - Seen as a low-FPS series of still images.
    *Or the mysterious otherworldly being(s) of the referee's choice, naturally.
    **One can scarcely generate antimatter without blowing up a world that's absolutely overrun with Homo sapiens, and they're just smart enough to cast spells, so they make perfect test subjects.
    ***As determined by the variables of the specific experiment, and possibly the bureaucratic whims of the researchers' bosses, or the irrational whims of the researchers themselves if they're not very objective.

    Friday, November 13, 2020

    Paranormal PC Quirks

    Roll a d30 at character creation:

    1. When you close your eyes, you can see invisible things...and nothing else, because your eyes are closed.
    2. When first clothed for the day, one pocket is always mysteriously full of sand.
    3. You know one additional language, with the following caveats: You can only write it with your non-dominant hand (ambidextrous characters have a 50/50 chance of either hand being the one that can write it). You can only read it with your non-dominant eye (50/50 chance of either if you don't have a dominant eye). You can only understand it in its spoken form by hearing it in one ear (it has to be on the same side as either the hand that writes it or the eye that reads it - player's choice). You can only speak it when you bleed.
    4. Your fingerprints are identical to those of every other player character who rolls this result, and to the first NPC you meet who has never been met by any player character before.
    5. Any metal surface you touch is noticeably slightly warmer that it should be, even accounting for your body heat, for d10 minutes afterward.
    6. Your body is just incredibly unique, and doesn't necessarily match the genetics of your parents. Your belly button is an "outie," your hair has a counterclockwise whorl, each of your hands has a single palmar crease, your blood type is AB positive/AB negative/ RH null (player's choice), you have no wisdom teeth, you have an extra rib and a preauricular sinus and palmaris longus muscles, and cilantro tastes like soap to you. Your eyes also have at least one of the following features (player's choice):
      1. Complete heterochromia
      2. Segmental heterochromia
      3. Central heterochromia
      4. Gray
    7. One day of each week, no one can remember your name without some kind of exterior prompt like seeing it in writing; seeing or talking to you doesn't count. Roll a d8 for the day:
      1. Monday
      2. Tuesday
      3. Wednesday
      4. Thursday
      5. Friday
      6. Saturday
      7. Sunday
      8. Player's choice
    8. Once a day, you can cause one human being in your line of sight to have hiccups for 3d20 minutes if they fail a saving throw vs. paralysis. This requires no gestures, only a deliberate mental trigger.
    9. The first time your HP is reduced to 0 (or whatever amount would normally kill you), roll a d10: on a 1 or 2 you die as normal, but otherwise you regain half of your maximum HP. The next time you would normally die from HP loss, roll a d10 and only die on a roll of 1 to 3, then the next time you die on a roll of 1 to 4, and so on. The ninth death definitely sticks.
    10. Your shadow is always (roll d6):
      1. Darker than it should be, even pitch-black sometimes.
      2. Lighter than it should be, even somewhat transparent sometimes.
      3. Longer than it should be.
      4. Shorter than it should be.
      5. Changing size and shape subtly if exactly one person looks at it, but returning to normal before anyone else can see it or the viewer can be certain they saw anything unusual.
      6. Moving dramatically when no one but you is looking at it.
    11. Blood tastes delicious to you, drinking blood does not trigger nausea or cause an iron overdose, and you receive an additional saving throw with a +4 bonus against contracting any bloodborne diseases (even receiving a saving throw if you normally wouldn't get one at all).
    12. You've somehow gone your entire life up to now without experiencing physical pain. This is because things that would normally cause a small amount of physical pain instead cause an equally compelling share of emotional "pain" or distress, and only things that would hurt at least a moderate amount register as "literal" pain. You've never been injured enough to overcome this pain "threshold." But now's your chance!
    13. You have wildly changing luck. Whenever you fail a roll on which you don't have advantage or disadvantage, you gain advantage on your next roll. Whenever you succeed on a roll on which you don't have advantage or disadvantage, you suffer disadvantage on your next roll.
    14. Your dreams always consist only of an accurate recreation of everything you experienced since the last time you dreamed. (Well, except for your very first dream, which covered everything from your birth up to that point.) You live everything twice.
    15. Once per day, you can make every domesticated animal within earshot come to you and try to get you to pet them by saying "pspspsps."
    16. Your ability scores are each increased by 1 point while you are exposed to sunlight. Your ability scores are each decreased by 1 point for ten minutes after you speak, with the timer resetting if you speak again during this "cooldown period."
    17. There is a second consciousness or personality inside of your brain. You cannot read their thoughts except those they choose to mentally "speak" to you, and vice versa. They cannot directly control your body, but they experience all of your sensory input while they are "awake." They "sleep" the same amount as a normal person, but this never occurs while you sleep, so they experience what you miss while you slumber, and you have a period of privacy during your waking hours. Each of you always knows when the other is awake or asleep.
    18. You're an expert ventriloquist and can do spot-in impersonations of the voices and mannerisms of others. Your voice can realistically imitate a variety of sound effects, too. This is all instinctual and not the result of practice. You have no original voice of your own, although you may have chosen a specific impression as your "default," and others might not know its origin.
    19. You have an unerring sense of time. You'd know the exact hour even deep underground, and you can count the passage of zeptoseconds flawlessly (even if you don't know for sure what a zeptosecond is). You have perfect rhythm, naturally.
    20. You can bend spoons and keys and similar small objects just like Uri Geller, except for real.
    21. Your voice echoes more than usual, even in places where it shouldn't echo at all.
    22. While touching another non-supernatural animal, you experience all of the creature's sensory input.
    23. No insects, centipedes, millipedes, scorpions, spiders, woodlice, mites, or ticks will ever willingly bite or sting you. All venomous snakes and lizards you encounter will make biting you their number one priority, even above survival.
    24. You know the exact distance and direction to one particular living being at all times. Once per week, you can change which person this is, provided the new target is within your line of sight or earshot.
    25. Your outer layer of dead skin is incredibly hydrophobic, so the outside of your body is never really wet. Somehow, this doesn't seem to cause any health problems - your skin doesn't even look or feel particularly dry even though it literally is. Any clothes you wear become hydrophobic as well until removed.
    26. Eldritch forces are constantly reshaping you for unknown purposes. Reroll a random ability score every day.
    27. You were born under a bad sign. Pick a zodiac sign: you must behave in accordance with the worst stereotypes about that sign.
    28. You've found a way to bargain with some god of chance. Once per game, you can change the result of one of your rolls to the best possible result or change the result of one roll that negatively affects you to the best possible result for you. In exchange, your next d3 rolls will automatically be the worst possible result(s).
    29. Roughly speaking, you perceive orange as what others would consider blue, and vice versa. Same for the red-green and purple-yellow pairs. But how would you even know?
    30. You're a p-zombie. Although you are indistinguishable from a normal human as far as others can tell, you have no sentience or conscious experience or inner life. The light's on, but nobody's home. So yeah, there's no meaningful difference between you and other characters in the game.

    Sunday, November 8, 2020

    Appendix VG: Carcosa

    Here's one more post about Geoffrey McKinney's Carcosa that I've had on the back burner. In the style of some previous posts, I made an "Appendix N-style" list of inspirational material that heavily informs my personal conception of the setting. The twist is that these are all video games. Why?

    1. McKinney's Carcosa always felt very video gamey to me, and especially comparable to retro games, what with the bright colors, and the pseudo-random, almost-clashing elements, and the synthesis of fantastical imagery and computer technology, and the way the game relies on the players' imagination to fill in the blanks and flesh out the implied world.
    2. A lot of video games just happen to have elements that fit Carcosa very well, through either game mechanics, through characters and props and setting details, or through the tone or atmosphere created by art assets and music and such.
    3. Video games just fucking rule.
    Some people look at Carcosa and see Masters of the Universe. I see sprites and polygons and hear chiptune music.

    Full disclosure: I haven't played all of these myself. I don't necessarily even think all of these are good, per se. But I think every single one of these is both fascinating in its own right and an exemplar of the aesthetics, mood, tropes, and pure gonzo insanity most associated with McKinney's Carcosa in my mind. I hope something here piques your curiosity and sparks some cool ideas for your own games and imaginings, whether Carcosa-related or within even stranger realms.

    Picture courtesy of

    P.S. Much like Carcosa itself, "Age of Barbarian," "Produce," and the Japanese version of "The Legendary Axe II" include some nudity and/or sexual content that might be NSFW or upsetting to some people. I apologize if I neglected to warn about such content in any other games listed here.

    Roll d66* for Inspiration for Your Next Game:

    11. Age of Barbarian

    12. Alien Storm

    13. Another World/Out of This World

    14. Ark: Survival Evolved

    15. Axiom Verge

    16. Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior/Death Sword - especially Barbarian II: The Dungeon of Drax

    21. Blaster Master

    22. Bloodborne (and Demon's Souls and Dark Souls to some extent)

    23. Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

    24. Cap'n Magneto

    25. Chakan: The Forever Man

    26. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

    31. Far Cry Primal

    32. Generations Lost

    33. Golden Axe

    34. The Guardian Legend

    35. Horizon: Zero Dawn

    36. Kenshi

    41. The Legendary Axe - especially The Legendary Axe II

    42. Metroid

    43. Overwhelm

    44. Peter Jackson's King Kong

    45. Phantasy Star

    46. Rubicon (all versions)

    51. Rygar - especially the NES version

    52. The Sacred Armour of Antiriad/Rad Warrior

    53. Secret of Evermore

    54. Secret Quest

    55. The 7th Saga

    56. Shadow of the Beast

    61. Tongue of the Fatman/Mondu's Fight Palace/Slaughter Sport

    62. Turok

    63. Turrican

    64. Weaponlord

    65. Wizard of Wor

    66. Zeno Clash

    Extras - After you use an entry from the table above, cross it out and roll d88** on this table for a replacement entry:

    11. Altered Beast
    12. Alternate Reality: The City/The Dungeon
    13. Barbarian and Obliterator (the Psygnosis series, not the Palace Software series mentioned above)
    14. Battletoads
    15. Berzerk (and Frenzy)
    16. Blackthorne
    17. Blade Master (Edited on 8/17/21: I originally had Terrorpods here, but this is a much better fit.)
    18. BloodStorm (and Time Killers to some extent)
    21. Brataccas
    22. Captain Zzap/Flash Gordon
    23. Conan: Hall of Volta and Conan: The Cimmerian
    24. Dark Sun: Shattered Lands/Dark Sun: Wake of the Ravager/Dark Sun Online: Crimson Sands
    25. Drakkhen/Dragon View and Eternam
    26. Dyna Gear
    27. Eldritch
    28. El Viento/Earnest Evans/Anett Futatabi
    31. Fester's Quest
    32. Forgotten Worlds (Edited on 3/6/22: I originally had Conan: The Cimmerian here, but I combined it with the Conan: Hall of Volta entry above.)
    33. Heart of Darkness
    34. He-Man/Masters of the Universe
    35. Hylics
    36. Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road
    37. Isolated Warrior
    38. Joust
    41. Karnov
    42. Koudelka/Shadow Hearts
    43. Krull
    44. Kult: The Temple of Flying Saucers/Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess
    45. Leander/Galahad
    46. Last Armageddon (and After Armageddon Gaiden)
    47. The Legacy: Realm of Terror
    48. Marathon/Pathways Into Darkness
    51. Metal Mutant
    52. Might & Magic
    53. Monuments of Mars
    54. Mutant Chronicles: Doom Troopers
    55. Oddworld
    56. O.D.T.
    57. Odyssey
    58. Ork
    61. Perihelion: The Prophecy
    62. Produce (プロデュース)
    63. Purple Saturn Day
    64. Quake
    65. Rastan/Rastan Saga
    66. Robinson's Requiem and Deus
    67. SaGa/Final Fantasy Legend
    68. The Sinking City
    71. Space Ace (and Dragon's Lair to some extent)
    72. Space Funeral
    73. Space Harrier
    74. Spiderbot/Arac
    75. Stargate
    76. Stone Protectors
    77. Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight
    78. Strife
    81. Sword of Sodan
    82. Ultima
    83. Unreal
    84. Vandyke
    85. Vangers
    86. Where Time Stood Still
    87. Wizardry (especially Bane of the Cosmic Forge, Crusaders of the Dark Savant, and Wizardry 8)
    88. Xexyz

    Picture courtesy of

    *If you're unfamiliar with d66 rolls, check out this Wikipedia entry...or better yet, check out Troika!

    **This works just like a d66 roll, except with two d8s instead of d6s.

    Friday, November 6, 2020

    AD&D Carcosa Crawl - House Rules and Lore Ideas

    I've become totally infatuated with Lost Carcosa by Tristan Tanner of the blog The Bogeyman's Cave, to the point that I prefer it overall to Geoffrey McKinney's Carcosa. I think it's only natural to compare the two, given the overlapping subject matter.

    That said, I still really enjoy McKinney's Carcosa setting on its own merits, and I have a couple of old ideas for it which I haven't posted about yet. I figure I should get it out of my system before my attention totally turns to Tanner's take on the concept.

    I'll be referring to both the core Carcosa book and the four AD&D hexcrawls published through

    AD&D House Rules

    • Classes are restricted to Fighters, Clerics, Magic-Users, Illusionists, Assassins, and Monks. (I could be persuaded to include Thieves as well.) Inspired by this thread at the OD&D Discussion Forum.
      • For class purposes, either ignore alignment requirements entirely, or ignore the good/evil aspect of alignment. If choosing the latter, Monks must be Lawful, and Clerics must be either Lawful or Chaotic. Maybe Magic-Users should always be Chaotic? The rest, including Illusionists, could probably choose any alignment.
      • If not using the Thief class, consider allowing Fighters to use Thief abilities equivalent to their level (like this) except for reading languages, using magical scrolls, and speaking Thieves' Cant.
    • Human PCs only. (Unless borrowing mutants or androids from Gamma World, perhaps? Or aliens from Empire of the Petal Throne?)
    • Carcosa's sorcerous rituals can be performed by any class, rather than being restricted to a Sorcerer class. Spellcasting classes have their usual spells as well.
      • Remove all aspects of sexual assault and harm to children from the rituals.
    • Use the psionics system from Carcosa instead of AD&D. Multiply the chances of a PC having psionic powers by 8 (e.g. someone with 18 INT, 18 WIS, and 18 CHA would have a 96% chance).
    • The damage dice for space alien weapons are d12s instead of d8s.
    • Space Alien weapons may be used by Fighters, Assassins, and Monks. (Thieves as well, if the class is used.)
    • Ignore the weird new "Dice Conventions."
    • I'd probably ignore weapon speed factors, weapon vs. armor class adjustment, segments, helmet rules, and all that jazz. I'm on the fence about giving weapons different damage vs. different opponent sizes, as well.
      • If I DO try using these rules, I'll probably need assistance from THIS or THIS.
    • No training time/costs needed to level up.
    • No female strength limits.
    • No Read Magic, as usual.
    • No spell component tracking. (They can still be present as non-mechanical "flavor" if desired.)
    • Consider borrowing material from Gamma WorldMetamorphosis Alpha, and Empire of the Petal Throne.

    Lore Alterations and Additions

    • Carcosa is either Earth in the distant future or a planet colonized by future humanity. At some point between now and the game's era, the human race has mostly split into two distinct new species through mysterious means: the Lawful high-tech Space "Aliens" and the Chaotic sorcerous Snake-Men. The former have mostly abandoned Carcosa, while the latter were destroyed by the "ultratelluric forces" unleashed by the Snake-Men when they summoned (or created?) the interdimensional reality-warping dream-city also known as Carcosa (which may also be a living idea and/or a god).
    • "Brown Men" are just normal, unaltered Earthly humans as we know them in our era, the predecessors to the two aforementioned posthuman species. They may have originally arrived on Carcosa via time-travel, or they may have been recreated post-extinction by the Snake-Men from preserved genetic material and eldritch sorcery, or they could have simply continued to survive alongside the Space "Aliens" and Snake-Men all this time while somehow remaining unchanged. In short, they are the remains of "original" humanity. Thus, they have the same variety of skin/hair/eye colors found in real people today, rather than the more uniform features described in the book.
    • The other twelve "species" of humans are creations of the Snake-Men, as per the book. All thirteen types of humans were used by the Snake-Men as ingredients in horrible rituals, and the latter twelve types were engineered from the "Brown Men" to enable a wider variety of sorcery than that which could be accomplished through the sacrifices of only one kind of human.
      • I'm considering changing the names and appearances of the "Black Men" and "White Men" of the setting, partly to further differentiate Carcosan people from real-life racial or ethnic groups and hopefully prevent any confusion or accidental unfortunate implications, and partly as an excuse to include more super-weird people à la the Bone Men. Maybe they could be Muscle Men and Blood Men?
      • A friend pointed out to me that Claytonian JP came up with better names for Carcosa's technicolor peoples in "A Carcosa Hack," found HERE. I definitely prefer the terms "Umber Men" and "Ebon Men" and "Chalk Men" for Carcosan folk over terms that have greater real-life connotations.
    • B'yakhee, Deep Ones, Yithians, Mi-Go, Primordial Ones, and Shoggoths are not merely different varieties of spawn produced by "The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young." Instead, they retain their original Lovecraftian/Cthulhu Mythos origins - or at least their origins as described in the Call of Cthulhu RPG.
    • If the new colors of Carcosa need to be visually depicted (for character portraits, miniatures, etc.) here's my shorthand:
      • Jale = Cyan
      • Ulfire = Magenta
      • Dolm = Indigo
    Bonus: The Keep on the Borderlands - Magic Item Conversions and Other Suggestions for Carcosa

    • Amulet of Protection from Good = Half damage from all mundane attacks rather than protection from "good." Instead of an amulet it's a chemical with which the body was treated, and thus it's not "collectable."
    • Amulet of Protection from Turning = Same effect, but instead of an amulet it's a chemical with which the body was treated, and thus it's not "collectable."
    • Arrow +1 = Bow w/ 2d10 Arrows coated in Black Lotus Powder
    • Dagger +1 = Blowpipe w/ 2d10 Darts coated in Black Lotus Powder
    • Elven Boots = Night Vision Goggles w/ d6 Hours of power left
    • Elven Cloak = Cloaking Device w/ d4 Hours of power left
    • Hand Axe +1 = Hand Axe coated w/ 3d8 doses/hits worth of Black Lotus Powder
    • Helm of Alignment Change = 3d10 doses of White Lotus Powder
    • Mace +1 = Lightning Bolt Pistol w/ 3d20 shots (Beam)
    • Plate Mail +1 = Reflective Armor, reflects 10 "spectral colors" of lasers as one of its electromagnetic resistances
    • Ring of Fire Resistance = Space Suit w/ extra thermal protection (same effect as Ring)
    • Ring of Protection +1 = Absorption Field w/ 3d10+10 HP, tuned to all colors of lasers ("Full HP" was 50, so it could be charged up to 100 HP)
    • Rope of Climbing = Hand-Pumped Pneumatic Steel Cable Grappling Hook Gun.
    • Shield +1 = Force Field w/ 3d10+40 HP (Full HP was 100)
    • Snake Staff = Grenade Launcher w/ 3d8 Hardening Foam Grenades
    • Spear +1 = Spear coated w/ 3d8 doses/hits worth of Black Lotus Powder
    • Staff of Healing = Grenade Launcher w/ 3d8 Sonic Grenades
    • Sword -1 = Dolm Pudding Emitter Pistol w/ d20 shots (Broken: Stuck on 360° mode, hits user)
    • Sword +1 = Laser Pistol w/ 3d20 shots (50/50 chance of Pulse or Beam, random Color)
    • Sword +2 = Laser Rifle w/ 3d12 shots (50/50 chance of Pulse or Beam, random Electromagnetic)
    • Wand of Enemy Detection = 2d6 Insanity Hand Grenades
    • Wand of Paralyzation = 2d4 Paralyzation Hand Grenades
    • Potions and Scrolls remain the same.
    I would place the adventure in Hex 0605 on the Carcosa Campaign Map #1. The orcs, goblins, kobolds, etc. are all heavily mutated humans transformed by the giant crystals located in this hex. Perhaps the mutation process has also brainwashed them into serving some malign, Chaotic entity of eldritch, ethereal evil; hence the name of the Caves in which the mutants dwell.

    Low-Level OSR Weird Fantasy House Rules

    After musing on the "common wisdom" that most OSR campaigns don't last long enough for PCs to gain enough experience points to reach levels higher than 10 or so (if even that), I was inspired to rethink my reluctance to run a campaign with a relatively low XP limit. And after reading some really good house rules over at the blogs Pits Perilous and The Bogeyman's Cave which focus on low-level play, I thought I might as well share my humble take on how I'd run an OSR game with a "weird fantasy" or "low fantasy" flavor. (I know I'm late for Halloween, but I'm actually very early for what Bogleech would call Halloween 2 AKA "Christmas.") This is heavily built from an LotFP chassis because that's what most of my previous weird fantasy house rules used on this blog, so credit where it's due, but you can hopefully use this with Basic D&D and most of its standard, popular retroclones/spinoffs/variants like Old-School Essentials or Labyrinth Lord.


    • 3 classes only - Fighter, Magic-User, and Specialist/Thief/Rogue (or whichever term you prefer).
      • All PCs begin as humans.
      • No weapon/armor restrictions for any class.
    • XP Limit of 300,000 - Limit of Level 9 for Fighters and Magic-Users, and Level 10 for Specialists.
    • My Checkpoint XP rules are in effect.
    • 7 skills - 1 in 6 chance of success by default, increased by certain Ability Score modifiers and the Specialist's skill points. A maximum score of 6 in a skill means you roll 2d6 and only fail on double 6s.
      • Athletics (modified by Strength) - Climb Sheer Surfaces, Open Doors, etc.
      • Search (modified by Wisdom) - Finding secret doors, Architectural features, traps, hidden items, etc. (possibly also Hear Noise/Perception check-style functions)
      • Languages (modified by Intelligence) - When exposed to a language for the first time, roll a skill check to see if you know it. Characters start out automatically knowing the common language for their area. Optionally, they could also begin knowing one additional language, or two if they have an Intelligence score of 16+.
      • Bushcraft - Ranger-type outdoorsy know-how.
      • Sneak Attack - Damage multiplier
      • Stealth - Hiding, Moving Silently, Picking Pockets/Sleight of Hand
      • Tinker - Picking Locks, Disarming Traps, etc.
    • Maximum possible HP given each level - no rolling for HP.
    • Ascending AC: Unarmored=12, Light=14, Medium=16, Heavy=18, a Shield adds 1. Even the most heavily armored monsters probably shouldn't have an AC higher than 21.
      • Fighters start with +2 Base Attack Bonus and improve by +1 per level. Others start with +1 BAB and do not improve beyond that. Roll equal to or higher than AC to hit.
    • Critical hits (natural 20 on attack rolls) do maximum weapon damage. Fighters are an exception; see their section below.
    • No alignment.
    • If your preferred rulebook normally grants Thieves the ability to cast spells from scrolls at a certain level, use the following rules instead:
      • Fighters and Specialists may cast spells from scrolls. The chance of successfully casting such a spell is equal to the character's Languages skill. Failure means at the very least that the spell was not successfully cast, but it is still removed from the scroll as if it were cast; a magical mishap may also occur at the referee's discretion.
      • Specialists cast spells from scrolls as if they were a Magic-User of half their level (rounded down). Fighters always cast spells from scrolls as if they were a Level 1 Magic-User.
      • Magic-Users cast spells from scrolls as usual, and do not need to roll a Languages check to do so.
    Ability Scores
    • Strength - Modifies melee attack bonus and Athletics skill. (Not melee damage.)
    • Wisdom - Modifies non-magic saving throws and Search skill.
    • Intelligence - Modifies magic saving throws and Languages skill.
    • Dexterity - Modifies ranged attack bonus, AC, and individual initiative.
    • Constitution - Modifies HP.
    • Charisma - Modifies hiring of retainers and retainer loyalty.
    • No Prime Requisites or XP modifiers.


    • Begin with an Athletics skill of 3 instead of 1 (still modified by Strength on top of that).
    • Can carry 5 extra normal-sized items or 1 extra oversized item before becoming encumbered.
    • Begin with +2 BAB, gain +1 every level thereafter.
    • For Fighters, critical hits do double maximum weapon damage at Levels 1-2, 3x damage at Levels 3-4, 4x damage at Levels 5-6, 5x damage at Levels 7-8, and 6x damage at Level 9.
      • Alternatively, if your preferred rulebook includes rules for multiple attacks, weapon mastery, feats, special combat maneuvers, etc. they should be exclusive to Fighters (with the exception of Sneak Attacks for Specialists), and they should be used in lieu of these critical hit rules.
    • XP beyond Level 9 - For every level beyond 9 that the Fighter would normally receive (i.e. about every 120,000 XP after Level 9), the Fighter may increase one ability score by 1 point.


    • Hit Dice are d6.
    • Begin with 8 skill points to spend as they wish, gain 2 skill points every level thereafter.
    • If your preferred rulebook normally grants a "Read Languages" ability to Thieves at a certain level, ignore this in favor of the rules for the Languages skill.
    • XP beyond Level 10 - For every level beyond 10 that the Specialist would normally receive (i.e. about every 120,000 XP after Level 10), the Specialist may increase one ability score by 1 point.
      • If increasing an ability score would normally grant a skill point in a specific skill (i.e. Athletics, Languages, or Search), but the character already has 6 points in that skill, the character can put an additional skill point into a different skill of the player's choice instead.
      • Optionally, give 1 ability score point every 100,000 XP or so instead.


    • Begin with a Languages skill of 3 instead of 1 (still modified by Intelligence on top of that).
    • Magic-Users can cast Cleric spells. All spells are now Magic-User spells.
    • Magic-Users can make Protection Scrolls like Clerics.
    • No "Read Magic" Spell - Read Magic is removed from the spell list. Scrolls, runes on wands and magic items, and other typical magical writing that normally requires the use of this spell can instead by read automatically by any Magic-User. This skill is considered a basic part of a Magic-User's training. Essentially, every Magic-User is under the permanent effect of a "Read Magic" spell at all times.
    • No need to memorize multiple copies of the same spell.
      • Example: A Level 2 Magic-User memorizes Shield and Sleep. They can cast each spell once or cast Shield twice or cast Sleep twice.
    • Spells can be cast from scrolls/wands/staves that are too high in level to be memorized. Spells that are too high in level to memorize can still be scribed into a Magic-User's spellbook from a scroll or another spellbook, and thereafter be imbued into scrolls/wands/staffs at the usual cost - they simply cannot be memorized (and thus cannot be cast as one of the Magic-User's normal spells per day).
    • XP beyond Level 9 - For every level beyond 9 that the Magic-User would normally receive (i.e. about every 150,000 XP after Level 9), the Magic-User may increase one ability score by 1 point.
    Optional Goodies

    • If you want the game to be harder, the first house rules to ditch would probably be Checkpoint XP and max HP each level. Next would be non-Magic-Users casting from scrolls (if your system allowed that in the first place), then increasing ability scores with XP.
      • Regarding that last one, there's also the middle ground of giving PCs a random chance to increase an ability score every so many XP, rather than guaranteeing it; maybe they would have to roll their level or less on a d12, or they would have to roll more than the current ability in question on 3d6.
      • Critical hits cut both ways, so cutting them might actually make the game easier, but I'm not 100% sure.
    • Mind's Eyes should pair well with these rules. (I got the idea for this magic item by wondering how wizardly NPCs could become immune to a campaign's level cap, and if PCs could learn the secret to doing it too.)
    • If you want the PCs to be bigger weirdos from the get-go, you can have them all roll for Paranormal PC Quirks at character creation.
    • Here's something you might allow Magic-Users to do if you want to give the wizards in your setting a horrible tradition for settling their differences.
    • If a player REALLY wants to play a Dwarf SO BAD, you could permit such characters at a cost.
    • If you think Fighters need a little extra somethin' to spice them up, you could try giving them (and only them) a feature like this (or better yet, the "Mighty Deeds" of the Warrior class in Dungeon Crawl Classics). Or the Weapon Mastery rules of BECMI/the Rules Cyclopedia. Or multiple attacks. Just something else to mechanically differentiate them from other classes, you know?